Messed Up

Today i felt like running away from everyone but then i thought am i trying to escape myself or the world around me. I still dont have the answer for this.I have this habit of not sharing my feeling with anyone whether they are my parents or my siblings, the reason that i can give is "that i dont want to show that iam weak or fragile" but somewhere inside iam breaking down. When iam emotionally hurt i try to keep it to myself rather than sharing it and a time comes when you get so frustated that you do something nasty.I try to overcome this by drinking a lot, that helps a bit but dosent works for long.
I dont know when i can break the protective barrier and talk to someone about it. I have this mental block that when you open up to anyone you become vulnerable emotionally and it would be easier for that person to hurt more.... i might be wrong but that how iam.
I dont shere these thing's with anyone but today iam putting this on my blog to avoid drinking. Lets see what the future holds for me....